So…..after going to a wedding this weekend and being reminded of one of my least favorite aspects of the whole wedding process, I’m a little stressed out about how to deal with it.
I am, of course, talking about the wedding photography.
I HATE having my photo taken. I’m not really that bad about having it done by professionals – many of those actually work out in my favor. The ones I despise are the badly lit, over flashed, poorly cropped snapshots that everyone and their brother takes at weddings, family gatherings, events, etc. They do it so it’s something to do, kidding themselves into thinking the couple needs more posed photos and they’re doing them a favor. If you do this, keep them to yourself unless there’s a really great shot or two. Do not send them to the couple- this is what the bride and groom have overpaid to have done by someone who knows what they’re doing!
Luckily Matt agrees that spending half the wedding and reception posing for photos is obnoxious and he’s been willing to compromise.
We have already agreed we wouldn’t have a videographer. I just can’t see myself sitting down and watching the video of anyone’s wedding, let alone mine. Aren’t photos enough?
We’ve also said that we want to limit the amount of posed photos on the day of the wedding, choosing instead to take photos under much calmer conditions, before the wedding day, without everyone having to be there standing around and taking shots with their disposable cameras. We want our posed photos to be more relaxed, more atmospheric, and more whimsical than “bride alone, bride with mother, bride with father, bride and groom, bride and groom and officiant, bride with bridesmaids, etc…” awkwardly standing around in front of the altar.
That said, Matt thought that we could put something in the invite that said “No Flash Photography” or “The bride and groom love you, but will not pose for your photos. Candid shots are ok, but under no circumstances are you to send them to the bride.”
Is it immature for me to not want people to hide behind their cameras all night and take unflattering photos? I’d rather have fewer photos and better memories of people dancing and having fun. Maybe I’ll change my mind over the next few months. Hell, we’ve given ourselves plenty of time to plan TWO weddings.
My gut instinct at this moment though is that I don’t want to have to have my photo taken too much by too many people. I don’t want it posted on Facebook. I want control over the images of me that are out there in the world, because frankly only 1 out of 4 that I take are flattering at all. I am not photogenic, and no amount of hair/makeup/wedding dress flounces can fix it. It’s an attitude adjustment that I’ll have to make myself, but I don’t want or need people telling me that it’s not a valid concern.
Have you known someone who isn’t photogenic and had to deal with getting wedding or engagement shots? How did they approach it? Do you hate yourself in photos? How do you cope with snap-happy relatives?
For those of you who disagree with me — until I feel okay with the whole thing, please just humor me. I will probably get over it, but until I do, put your point-and-shoot away. I’ll be less prone to biting.